I am incapable of thinking clearly. Someone asked me yesterday what my future goals were with the horn, and for the first time in six years I didn't know how to respond. I thought I had my future all figured out, but it turns out that I'm getting a little lost.
I want a simple life. I'm so caught up in this whirlwind known as college, and I just can't stand it. College kids are so idiotic sometimes. I mean, last night Aaron and I went to a club in downtown BG to see this group that he really loves. It was chalk-full of college kids screaming and grinding, and he and I were pretty underwhelmed by the whole experience. Before we went there, though, we were out in Maumee at another club/bar place called "The Village Idiot" which was seriously the coolest place. It has a live music venue, and the group was called "Eastern Block" i think. They were very Israeli in sound, but it was a chill place and the average age was probably 30 or so. We were there for a few hours before heading back to BG, and I think in the end we sorta regretted leaving so early.
Ah well.
Anywho, moral of that story : College kids are dumb.
I wish I could be happy.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Caution: Radical and Unstable thoughts ahead
Yesterday was a very interesting day. I came to the conclusion that I don't like college. I don't like anything about it. I enjoy practicing, performing, cycling and working. Classes and I really just aren't getting along.
I then started to wonder what would happen if I decided to drop out of college. I mean, in truth as a musician I don't need a college degree unless I want to teach. I just need experience and teaching. Would it be bad to work two jobs, live in an apartment, practice and take lessons with a local teacher and take auditions? I think it'd be a fun way to live. Some people (like my parents) would probably say that i'd be taking the easy way out with no where to go. I'd be living paycheck to paycheck and would be in a state of constant worry.
*shrugs* I think I would be happy. Maybe I should take a semester off and see what happens. I might take next fall semester off and just see how life pans out. Save up money so I can do a tour out on the east coast. That'd be sweet.
Anywho, so this was my thought process all of yesterday because classes were just awful. I don't know what it is, but I just am not enjoying myself when I'm a classroom. Today was different. In my theory III class our grad assistant taught us, and he was hilarious. He reminded me of Prof. Heetderks and it really just made me smile. I think I might try to find him in his office hours to figure out a few things, and see if he'll help me with ASkills too, since that class is an absolute failure.
Tomorrow I'm heading home for the weekend. I'm so glad. Yesterday I was extremely home sick, which is odd for me since I don't get home sick easily. I'm bringing both my horn and bike :) Hah. Should be fun.
Mmm. I guess I'm just going to go with the flow for a while. No point in making waves yet.
I then started to wonder what would happen if I decided to drop out of college. I mean, in truth as a musician I don't need a college degree unless I want to teach. I just need experience and teaching. Would it be bad to work two jobs, live in an apartment, practice and take lessons with a local teacher and take auditions? I think it'd be a fun way to live. Some people (like my parents) would probably say that i'd be taking the easy way out with no where to go. I'd be living paycheck to paycheck and would be in a state of constant worry.
*shrugs* I think I would be happy. Maybe I should take a semester off and see what happens. I might take next fall semester off and just see how life pans out. Save up money so I can do a tour out on the east coast. That'd be sweet.
Anywho, so this was my thought process all of yesterday because classes were just awful. I don't know what it is, but I just am not enjoying myself when I'm a classroom. Today was different. In my theory III class our grad assistant taught us, and he was hilarious. He reminded me of Prof. Heetderks and it really just made me smile. I think I might try to find him in his office hours to figure out a few things, and see if he'll help me with ASkills too, since that class is an absolute failure.
Tomorrow I'm heading home for the weekend. I'm so glad. Yesterday I was extremely home sick, which is odd for me since I don't get home sick easily. I'm bringing both my horn and bike :) Hah. Should be fun.
Mmm. I guess I'm just going to go with the flow for a while. No point in making waves yet.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Aural Skill Angst
*sigh* I'm being dumb.
I feel rather bad for my ASkills teacher, because I am so ignorant in her class because I just don't want to change what i've already learned. BG uses moveable do vs. U of M (and the rest of the academic musical world) which uses fixed do. I know that I shouldn't act so disdainful in her class, and I should give it more effort, but i really am having issues letting go of what I was taught last year.
It doesn't help that we're using the same sight-singing book that my U of M teacher used. It basically ends with me being emo each day I have that class, remember all the awesome 8:30am theory classes I had with Paul sitting by my side. That and the hilariousness of Professor Heetderks, who has got to be one the greatest teachers I have ever had. He had so much energy and enthusiasm, but he was also extremely knowledgeable about everything theory related. I miss his class.
I'm finding that I'm missing almost everything about U of M. There are a few exceptions... such as I don't miss the constant stress that was always present because everyone seemed so uptight about EVERYTHING. BG is so relaxed it's almost silly.
You know something though? I actually like practicing here. The practice rooms are on the third floor, and they have windows! I don't know why that helps, but it does. I enjoy being there more. I also don't feel like i'm being judged when I'm practicing, so I practice with more confidence then I did at U of M.
Yet, despite it all - knowing that classes started today at U of M makes me sad. Knowing that all the people I befriended last year are probably still in classes together... and I really miss my small ensembles. The brass quintet especially.
Bleh. I made this decision. I'm not backing out. Things will fall together eventually. I'm content at least. Not happy, but content.
I feel rather bad for my ASkills teacher, because I am so ignorant in her class because I just don't want to change what i've already learned. BG uses moveable do vs. U of M (and the rest of the academic musical world) which uses fixed do. I know that I shouldn't act so disdainful in her class, and I should give it more effort, but i really am having issues letting go of what I was taught last year.
It doesn't help that we're using the same sight-singing book that my U of M teacher used. It basically ends with me being emo each day I have that class, remember all the awesome 8:30am theory classes I had with Paul sitting by my side. That and the hilariousness of Professor Heetderks, who has got to be one the greatest teachers I have ever had. He had so much energy and enthusiasm, but he was also extremely knowledgeable about everything theory related. I miss his class.
I'm finding that I'm missing almost everything about U of M. There are a few exceptions... such as I don't miss the constant stress that was always present because everyone seemed so uptight about EVERYTHING. BG is so relaxed it's almost silly.
You know something though? I actually like practicing here. The practice rooms are on the third floor, and they have windows! I don't know why that helps, but it does. I enjoy being there more. I also don't feel like i'm being judged when I'm practicing, so I practice with more confidence then I did at U of M.
Yet, despite it all - knowing that classes started today at U of M makes me sad. Knowing that all the people I befriended last year are probably still in classes together... and I really miss my small ensembles. The brass quintet especially.
Bleh. I made this decision. I'm not backing out. Things will fall together eventually. I'm content at least. Not happy, but content.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Cycling team stress
I realize that creating this cycling team was going to be time consuming... but you know I was hoping that there would be other students willing to help. Turns out that everyone else is also busy, but unwilling to add something else to their schedule.
Bummer.
Therefore, I'm buried under mountains of paperwork to fill out not only for the university, but for usacycling and the midwest collegiate cycling conference as well. Too much to do. I think I might end up trying to become polyphasic again, just so i can get this all done.
In the end it will be worth it. It's already exciting to hear fellow team members tell me that they've been waiting for this to happen for years. Granted, they could've started one if they tried but I guess that's where we ambitious people get our calling.
Ah well. Cycling has changed my life. I've become a health nut. Vegetarian. Partial to organic foods. In love with any and all fruits and veggies. Cycling everyday. Seems like if I ever should've had another hobby, this was it.
Now my biggest issue is balancing my horn time and my bike time. Since I'm a music major, and all my classes are music-related I seem to think that they alone balance my cycling and music. Heh. Yah ok. I need to practice more. That's just me being lazy. I have tons of gaps during the day to accomplish that task, just currently lacking the motivation.
Hm. We'll work on that. I have a lot to work on. I'll just add it to my mamma-jamma to-do list (PS mamma-jamma = really large... in my new dictionary of katey-isms).
Since i already biked 35 miles today, i guess i should go practice for at least two hours.
Ready... set... procrastinate.
Bummer.
Therefore, I'm buried under mountains of paperwork to fill out not only for the university, but for usacycling and the midwest collegiate cycling conference as well. Too much to do. I think I might end up trying to become polyphasic again, just so i can get this all done.
In the end it will be worth it. It's already exciting to hear fellow team members tell me that they've been waiting for this to happen for years. Granted, they could've started one if they tried but I guess that's where we ambitious people get our calling.
Ah well. Cycling has changed my life. I've become a health nut. Vegetarian. Partial to organic foods. In love with any and all fruits and veggies. Cycling everyday. Seems like if I ever should've had another hobby, this was it.
Now my biggest issue is balancing my horn time and my bike time. Since I'm a music major, and all my classes are music-related I seem to think that they alone balance my cycling and music. Heh. Yah ok. I need to practice more. That's just me being lazy. I have tons of gaps during the day to accomplish that task, just currently lacking the motivation.
Hm. We'll work on that. I have a lot to work on. I'll just add it to my mamma-jamma to-do list (PS mamma-jamma = really large... in my new dictionary of katey-isms).
Since i already biked 35 miles today, i guess i should go practice for at least two hours.
Ready... set... procrastinate.
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